FAQ

             Frequently Asked Questions about the First Dance

Q. We have two left feet! Can we really expect to learn to dance comfortably at our wedding?

A. Any couple can learn to dance for their wedding with the right instruction and a little patience. We've never met a couple who couldn't hear the beat, despite all their claims. It just takes information and time -- especially practice time.

Q. How long does it take to learn how to dance?

A. Every couple learns to dance at a different pace. It depends on their level of talent, patience, and how much time they can practice. Each couple has their own learning curve. Practice time is the most important factor in learning to dance together.

Q. My fiancé is a nervous wreck about dancing at our wedding. Are all grooms nervous?

A. Many grooms are nervous about dancing. But they usually begin to enjoy it when they realize they are in charge (they're leading!), and that dancing is a skill that can be acquired. Learning to dance is like learning to play tennis -- or any other sport -- you need someone to tell you how it works, and then you must practice and have a little patience.

Q. How do we start and end our dance without feeling awkward?

A. If your dance has an introduction (an opening section without a vocal), you can use that time to walk onto the floor. If there is no introduction, you will feel more comfortable if you agree on a point in the music where you will begin, and practice that so you look and feel smooth.

A good way to end your dance is to do a dip, or an "over-sway." It doesn't need to be a big presentation, and it's easy to learn. If you don't like the dip, the groom can roll the bride into an embrace and you can kiss.

Finally, if you plan to have members of your wedding party join you on the floor, you don't really need to worry about ending your dance in a formal way; just stop, give each other a small bow or curtsey (or a kiss!), and resume with the new partner.

Q. What is the easiest dance style to learn?

A. The Foxtrot is easiest because it is basically just walking in time to music. Swing is also very easy, but it's less formal and perhaps not as appropriate for a first dance although many couples choose it.  Waltz and Rumba are two other dances that are not difficult and you can make very impressive.

Q. We are having a black tie wedding. What is the most formal dance style, and what else do we need to consider in choosing our first dance?

A. The most formal dance style is Waltz. However, more important considerations in picking a first dance are: What are you wearing, and How large or small is your dance floor? It is difficult to dance traveling dances like the Waltz on a small floor, and it is hard to swing dance in a ballgown with a train.

Additionally, it is always best to dance to a song that you love or is meaningful to you regardless of the dance style, as you are most likely to dance well to something you enjoy.  So you really need to choose a dance style based on the big picture: the formality of the event, your wedding attire, the dance floor size, and choosing a song that you both really like. It is a lot to think about, and there are no rules except that you both must feel comfortable!

Q. What is the proper format for guests to join the bride and groom on the dance floor?

A. There are several ways you can invite guests to join you on the floor. If you wish to have only parents or wedding party members, arrange it ahead of time; you might even do a run-through at the rehearsal dinner. If you want to include all of your guests, have your DJ, the bandleader, the best man, or the maid of honor announce the invitation at the appropriate time. Make sure everyone involved knows what is expected and when. Finally, you might want to ask a few good friends prior to the event to be "ringers" in the crowd -- friends who are prepared to leap to their feet at the big moment, so that there's no awkward pause!

Q. How long should our first dance be?

A. We suggest the first dance last no more than 2½ minutes.  Many songs range from 2½ to 5 minutes. Professional competition dancers and on shows like DANCING WITH THE STARS dance for 90 seconds.  And, if you go too long, you run the risk of becoming repetitive and uncomfortable. Your DJ, band leader, or dance teacher can edit your song and create a shorter version if necessary.

Q. What are the most popular first dance songs?

A. Fly Me to the Moon and What a Wonderful World are timeless, and we see them used year after year. Many couples pick first dance songs like Nobody But Me and A Kiss to Build a Dream On from popular movies. In the past few years, we've seen couples pick modern songs like It's Your Love and Because You Loved Me.  But there are literally hundreds of songs that can be used for your First Dance.

Q. How are we supposed to relax while dancing in front of ALL of our guests?!

A. You will feel most relaxed if you are comfortable and you will be if you feel prepared.  So, start learning with a teacher, a local school  about six to twelve months prior to your wedding; make time to practice between lessons; practice in clothes and shoes - hard soles - guys if you use tennis shoes - YES, they do, cover the bottom with duck tape --  that are similar to what you'll be wearing; practice in a space that is similar in size as your dance floor; practice to your actual song; and take advantage of other social situations where you can dance, such as a friend's wedding, dinner dances, and holiday events.  It also helps to listen to the song while you are driving so that you become intimately familar with the music.

A. The most formal dance style is Waltz. However, more important considerations in picking a first dance are: What are you wearing, and How large or small is your dance floor? It is difficult to dance traveling dances like the Waltz on a small floor, and it is hard to swing dance in a ballgown with a train.

Additionally, it is always best to dance to a song that you love or is meaningful to you regardless of the dance style, as you are most likely to dance well to something you enjoy.  So you really need to choose a dance style based on the big picture: the formality of the event, your wedding attire, the dance floor size, and choosing a song that you both really like. It is a lot to think about, and there are no rules except that you both must feel comfortable!

Q. What is the proper format for guests to join the bride and groom on the dance floor?

A. There are several ways you can invite guests to join you on the floor. If you wish to have only parents or wedding party members, arrange it ahead of time; you might even do a run-through at the rehearsal dinner. If you want to include all of your guests, have your DJ, the bandleader, the best man, or the maid of honor announce the invitation at the appropriate time. Make sure everyone involved knows what is expected and when. Finally, you might want to ask a few good friends prior to the event to be "ringers" in the crowd -- friends who are prepared to leap to their feet at the big moment, so that there's no awkward pause!

Q. How long should our first dance be?

A. We suggest the first dance last no more than 2½ minutes.  Many songs range from 2½ to 5 minutes. Professional competition dancers and on shows like DANCING WITH THE STARS dance for 90 seconds.  And, if you go too long, you run the risk of becoming repetitive and uncomfortable. Your DJ, band leader, or dance teacher can edit your song and create a shorter version if necessary.

Q. What are the most popular first dance songs?

A. Fly Me to the Moon and What a Wonderful World are timeless, and we see them used year after year. Many couples pick first dance songs like Nobody But Me and A Kiss to Build a Dream On from popular movies. In the past few years, we've seen couples pick modern songs like It's Your Love and Because You Loved Me.  But there are literally hundreds of songs that can be used for your First Dance.

Q. How are we supposed to relax while dancing in front of ALL of our guests?!

A. You will feel most relaxed if you are comfortable and you will be if you feel prepared.  So, start learning with a teacher, a local school  about six to twelve months prior to your wedding; make time to practice between lessons; practice in clothes and shoes - hard soles - guys if you use tennis shoes - YES, they do, cover the bottom with duck tape --  that are similar to what you'll be wearing; practice in a space that is similar in size as your dance floor; practice to your actual song; and take advantage of other social situations where you can dance, such as a friend's wedding, dinner dances, and holiday events.  It also helps to listen to the song while you are driving so that you become intimately familar with the music.